Ok...so during quarantine, social distancing is in effect and we have to stay at least 6ft away from each other…and I love it. You wanna know why I’m loving this…
..because no one has tried to touch my hair within the last month!
I’ve talked about my experiences of people touching my hair without asking before, but as I was washing my hair and deciding how I should wear it, I had a total light bulb moment and realized I don’t have to get close enough to anyone for them to touch my hair!! Which, is really sad.
Can I be even more honest with you?
Because so many people try to touch my hair, it’s turned me off from going in to hug people.(sigh)
Why? Because, as I’m hugging them, they’ll catch me off guard and feel my hair as I’m pulling away from the hug, giving me no time to stop them as opposed to them coming from the front.
Look, I know this isn’t a big deal for all women, but it’s a trigger for me. I put in a lot of time for my hairstyles and it's infuriating when someone thinks they can put their hands in my masterpiece…yes, a masterpiece I’ve taken time to create, without permission. This is something attached to my body ya know.
When I tell you to not touch my hair and try to as nicely as possible quickly school you on why lots of African American women don’t want their hair touched, and you comment back with, “Ok, but it just looks so fun” IS NOT OK!
My hair is not a toy for you to touch and play with. Get a dog.
I feel like some people still don’t get it, so let me offer an analogy.
“You’re planning your wedding. You and your soon-to-be-spouse have had two cake tastings to choose the perfect 7 layer cake for your special day. The day has come and the cake looks amazing at your reception. A family member from your spouse’s side that you don’t know that well sticks his/her hand in the cake and says, it looked so cool, I just had to see how it felt!”
Get it now?
With COVID-19 in effect, people are skeptical of what others have touched and choose to wear gloves. That’s exactly how I feel when someone touches my hair without permission.
You’re invading my personal space. (Which is why I’m hesitant with hugging certain people because they then think it’s ok.)
I have no idea where your hands have been previously. (greasy, unwashed, just ate, etc.)
I spend hours to cleanse and style my hair. Someone reaching to touch it, because they feel like it, is disrespectful. Period.
Listen, you don’t have to understand it all. Hairstyles and different textures of hair can be intriguing and that’s all great.
Take that intrigue, and maybe even offer up a compliment, but never touch without permission. Hence why being in quarantine has been absolute heaven for my hair (Her name is Maggie:))
As me and my mane continue to thrive in quarantine, stay safe, remain healthy, enjoy your family and remember what I taught you after quarantine is over. ☺