“I’ve always thought of accessories as the exclamation point of a woman’s outfit.” Micheal Kors.
I agree with Michael and feel the same way about hair!
At first, when going back natural, I was a little disappointed at the thought of not having the ability to wear hair accessories (especially hats) because the majority of hair accessories are intended for straight hair and get so lost in this mane of mine! Lol.
However, as I’ve learned to experiment with my hair in all of its beautiful stages, I’ve found creative ways to incorporate hair accessories within my styles!
Hair accessories are fun, great conversation starters and just add a little “umph” to a look. You know what I mean:)
Talking about accessories is great, but if you’re visual like me, seeing how somebody wears something and styles it, gives me that “Ohhhhh, I see” or “I like how she did that.” From there, I’m inspired to rock it in my own way.
Let me be that visual for you and show you a few hair accessories I’ve played with in the past.
Although not sold in the hair accessory section, flowers are a beautiful natural hair accessory.
2: Bobby Pins
I LOVE having fun with colorful and metal bobby pins! Check out my "5 Easiest Bobby Pin Hairstyles" YouTube video: youtu.be/JL9LIsJJz3Y
This is one of the easiest hair accessories to rock. For this look, I turned a scarf into a headband.
Wearing bows or tieing something into a bow has been around for ages. It's a classic look that is suitable for all ages.
5: Statement Pieces
These big gold hair clips are everythingggg! I love how striking and bold they are. Don't be afraid to be bold with your looks!
I’m looking forward to real fall weather so I can have fun with fall/winter hair accessories. Let me know in the comments if you’d like me to do a fall hair accessories version!
I hope you were inspired!
You’ve asked! I delivered!
I filmed a tutorial teaching you step-by-step how to achieve this faux loc look.
I had such a fun time filming, and definitely have to do it more often! I make myself laugh lol.
I provide the products I used as well as what method I used.
I make YouTube videos on certain subject matters to inspire and motivate you to be your best self. This particular one is about hair.
Click the link below to learn how! Like, comment, and subscribe to my YouTube channel while you’re there!
Mirror Mirror on the wall, what curls are the prettiest of them all?
ALL OF THEM!
For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term “4C Curls,” it’s a specific type of curl pattern within the natural hair world. Black Girl Hair Magic has so much diversity that we had to break it down into types which help us know what hair products cater best to our hair.
Now, I’m sure there are hair types for all ethnicities, but this post is focused on what I’m familiar with and experience.
Type 4 hair is described as tightly coiled, coarse, and one of the most common hair types found in African American Hair.
There’s a lot more detail explaining hair types, but that’s just the top of the surface information.
SO! As common as 4C hair is said to be, unfortunately, it doesn’t receive as much celebration and love as other hair types.
Let me break it down:
Looser curl textures have been coined as pretty natural hair as opposed to a tighter texture, like my hair which has been called “nappy”. The way nappy is said most definitely comes with a negative connotation.
That’s from my very own experience as well as what I’ve seen within the community.
People with my texture have also been charged more in the hair salon because our hair is said to take much more work.
It’s very unfortunate but true. I’ve even had some of my followers reach out to me sharing their personal and very vulnerable natural hair stories. One of my very sweet supporters allowed me to share her story:
This. This got me. No one should ever have to feel uncomfortable with displaying what God gave them.
HE MAKES NO MISTAKES.
Here’s another example to show you some of the challenges that come with having natural thick hair. Click below:
Although society has their own standard of beauty, we do not have to conform to what they say is acceptable. As I write this, I’m encouraging myself too, because it gets hard at times going against the grain even when you know what you’re doing is right.
But if we stick together and celebrate each other, it will help the journey of each of us appreciating all the unique ways God created us much easier.
I represent 4C Hair type women because I saw a significant gap in representation.
So here I am today, using my platforms to make sure that 4C women feel equally as celebrated and admired as other hair types. Continue to follow my social media platforms for tips and advice on 4C Hair.
If you’ve never heard that your hair is beautiful, let me be the 1st to say…YOUR HAIR IS GORGEOUS!!!
Stick with it sis.
What’s better than finding the perfect little black dress?
The perfect pair of jeans!
I’m going to share with you the love story of how my jeans and I found each other! (Just go with me lol)
While growing up, I used to shy away from looking for jeans because I’d get SO discouraged. I have muscular calves, juicy thighs and a small waist. With the combination of how God created me, I either find pants that fit my waist but not my thighs or my thighs and not my waist. Let’s just put it this way, me and belts are best friends. We’re never far from each other lol.
So when shopping, I would have a total conniption if I had to go up a size, not understanding at the time that brands all fit differently. You might wear a 6 in Forever 21 jeans, but an 8 or 10 in jeans from Ross.
But THANK GOD for heaven-sent mothers like mine who saw the disappointment on my face and took the time to explain how a lot of companies/brands vary in size. God bless that woman.
So after my fashion lesson, I kept what my mom said in mind and stopped allowing a number to define me. If a Juniors 9 fits, good, but if I get a little more space in a 10 and it’s more comfortable…I’m going with the 10! No worries!
Now, let’s talk about where I found my favorite pair of jeans. These jeans are from Target. They are the “Skater Jeans” from the Wild Fable Collection. Now when shopping for jeans, Old Navy is my go-to all day and still is. I know what style and size fit me there and I am faithful to my Old Navy jeans.
However, I stumbled across these jeans on the CLEARANCE rack! (We save coins around here!)
When looking at them on the hanger, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of them, but I’m a fan of high waist jeans and that’s what they looked like.
I go in the dressing room and turn on my music (am I the only one that does that? It’s a whole fashion show in the dressing room!)
I try the pants on......
This moment felt like Cinderella when the prince (the jeans) finally found Cinderella (me) and put the glass slipper on realizing it’s a match!!
These jeans have more than enough room for my hips, thigh, gluteus maximus, and calves. AND the waist wasn’t gappy like usual! These jeans gave me a whole 90’s vibe.
You should’ve seen the victory dance that commenced in the dressing room. I was so happy.
After purchasing and wearing them, I tried not to wear them every day lol!
I loved these so much, I began looking for them in any Target that I went to. I had no luck, but I didn’t stop there. I looked on eBay and someone was selling them in my size WITH THE TAGS STILL ON!
Like…God REALLY loves me!
Now, let me share with you how to find your perfect jeans.
I follow my 4 C’s guidelines:
1: Cut - Be sure to know what type of cut you’re looking for. Boot cut, skinny jean, flare, etc. There are so many out there. Know what cut flatters you.
2: Comfort - This is a biggie. Comfort is key. I hate to see someone uncomfortable in an outfit. If I’m uncomfortable for that person, I can only imagine how uncomfortable they really are. Be able to sit, and walk comfortably in the pair of jeans you choose.
3: Color - There are so many different types of wash when it comes to denim. There’s light/dark/distressed/bleached etc. Know what color denim you’d like.
4: Cute – We all know that when you look good you feel good. Choose jeans that you feel great in!
. . .
Well, that’s my story and tips on how to find your favorite pair of jeans. Let me know if these tips work for you! If you’d like me to create a video on how to find jeans, let me know! Happy shopping!
Before getting these braids, I had already been in a season of protective styling.
In May of last year, I had a few damaged pieces from straightening my hair.
From that encounter and just in general, I’d been feeling like me and my hair were on two separate pages. I wasn’t feeling the shape of my fro and coloring my hair to add a little change was starting to become an idea.
Instead of that, I decided to continue my protective style season and get some braids.
However, I didn’t just want the black braids that I usually got. I wanted to step outside my box and try something new. Well, the amazing company Latched and Hooked popped into my head and we decided to do a joint venture!
After receiving their products, I then hunted down my braider lol and everything was set!
(By the way, my braider is retired…until I call her again lol!)
So, my hair was finally done and I was IN LOVEEEEEEE with the results!
The hair color came out beautifully and my braider’s quality of work is unmatched.
I knew I wanted to keep my braids in for a while, so I did my best to take care of them and here are 5 staple products that helped me do so!
Take a moment to enjoy my video explaining why these products are so amazing…and I’m sure you’ll get in a good laugh once or twice too.
This blog post is not meant to be a rant. It is intended to give insight, be educational, and most of all be helpful.
This post is merely scraping the surface of this topic and I’m sure there will be a part two…or three lol. However, we have to at least start the conversation. So let’s talk about it.
By the way, this message is for every ethnicity...including my own.
My favorite book says…
”But for a woman, if her hair is abundant, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering.” – Corinthians 11:15
Let that sink in for a second.
In order for you to get in my headspace, let me share some experiences I’ve personally had.
In Elementary school,
my mom had to threaten my life and drill into me that no one had permission to touch or change my hair.
Before that threatening of my life...lol…people would play in my hair and I’d come back home with a changed and diluted version of the style that my mom started me out with.
Not understanding how much time was spent to get this thick hair to cooperate (sorry mom!), I couldn’t understand why she got so mad. But TRUST, as I grew up and had to learn to do my own hair, I understand now.
Throughout grade school,
when wearing my straight hair, people wanted to touch and run their fingers all through my hair. Little did I know, when rocking my afro that would multiply times 1,000. And unfortunately, that’s no exaggeration.
As an African American woman, understand that my hair takes TIME. It is a full time job washing, styling, and taking care of this mane.
Being that I interact with very diverse people, I’ve often run into very interesting situations and find myself having to correct and educate those individuals on proper hair etiquette I guess you can call it.
In laymen’s terms, to those I’m close to, I’ve explained why it’s a no-no to touch African American women’s hair WITHOUT permission.
Let me break it down for ya:
Wash day can take up half of our day. Sitting in a salon…whew child…you never know how long you’ll actually be in there. Sitting to get protective styles done like braids?! That can take 8+ hours! Oh, and let’s not even get into how much good hair products cost.
What I need you to understand is that our hair is truly our glory. Whether it’s a short cut or flowing down our backs, it’s a part of us.
So for someone to come up and touch my hair without permission is DISRESPECTFUL. Lacking courtesy. An invasion of space.
My hair is not a petting zoo.
You don’t get to touch it just because it looks so intriguing.
Let me give you some examples of what people have said to me after I check them for touching my hair without permission:
1) I just couldn’t resist!
2) But it just looks so soft! Like a pillow. I wanted to see if it felt like that too.
3) It’s just one touch. …….Just one touch??? Yeah, you and 25 other people today simple mindedly thought the same thing.
Listen, I have no idea where your hands have been. I don’t know if you just finished eating or what you’ve touched previously. Whatever oils and such you have on your hand can affect the flow of our hair. Yeah…it does.
For example, I personally don’t put lots of oil in my hair because it weighs it down. So just think about the oils of 25 people’s hands on my hair.
I’m not being a germophobe but these are facts.
I hope this is giving you insight and allows you to understand why touching someone’s hair without permission is a no go.
This wouldn’t be helpful without a SOLUTION so let me offer you a couple:
1) Ask permission to touch someone’s hair BEFORE reaching out to do so.
2) If you are really intrigued about someone’s hairstyle and would like to know more, Google it. Google offers great descriptions and examples to help you understand. Even better, watch a YouTube video. You can definitely learn a lot from there.
I hope this blog had offered insight, education, and help. If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments. I’d love to continue the conversation. No question is a stupid question. I’m open and willing to answer. If you’d like your question to be personal, feel free to email me at: -firstname.lastname@example.org
For your entertainment, check out Solange’s music video called Don’t Touch My Hair.” Take in the lyrics and enjoy the great visuals that come along with it:
Until next time:)
I’m at a point in my life where once you figure out what your purpose is and realize it’s so much bigger than you, you begin to often re-evaluate things within your life to make sure it’s benefiting those around you.
I think we all go through moments of re-evaluating ourselves and how we’re making a difference in our community and in this world. That’s what phase I’ve been in lately.
Well, as I was browsing through my social media, I saw cute pics. I saw cute pics with good captions and an inspirational message…which is great! But, I want more.
I’m capable of more.
Let me explain. Right now, I see myself as being a “Fashion Enthusiast.” An enthusiast is a person who is really passionate and excited about something, which I am! Fashion does excite me, but I’m ready to take it a step further and walk in the authority of a “Fashion Activist.”
A Fashion Activist is a person who uses fashion as a means of social or political change. I am a confident 5’3” and 1/2 (never forget the 1/2) athletic/curvy girl and I’m proud of it! Unfortunately, all clothing doesn’t flatter my figure and that was a learning process for me. Thankfully, I have mother that is so fashionable and was able to help me find my stride in what works for me. Everybody doesn’t have that luxury, so that’s what I’m here for! Let me be that bestie that you take shopping with you.
Listen, we’re in this thing together and no number or size will confine our fabulosity!
Besides my own yearning to do this, I get so many women that compliment my outfits saying “I wish I could wear that” or “I’d love to rock that, but I don’t know how” or “I love that, but I don’t know if it’d work for my body.”
Figuring out what styles flatter your figure is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Because when you look good you what…..FEEL GOOD!
My desire is to continue to post cute fashionable pictures lol, AND give you more ideas of how you too can achieve certain desired looks for yourself.
Being a fashion enthusiast was cute and I got wonderful compliments, but that’s not the only reason I want to post... (Although, keep those compliments coming lol!)
So, my desire is to post more YouTube videos and have different episodes geared towards various areas of fashion to inspire and motivate you to continuously be your best self. Let me know in the comments what videos you’d like to see! Until you read again!
Sooo…I did it! I cut my hair. My first blog post (September ’18) was about my contemplation on cutting off some damaged hair that came from me getting it straightened for a wedding I was in.
You guys know I’m totally one for all things healthy hair…but they were my pieces of my edges .
(Edges refer to the hair around the hairline including the baby hairs which are sometimes styled into elaborate designs.)
Listen, I know I have a multi-cultural audience which I absolutely love, so let me fill in you on some black woman hair information: we LOVE, appreciate and take care of our edges like they're our first born child!!! LOL
So you can imagine the hesitancy of me wanting to pick up some scissors and get to snipping.
Before making my final decision to cut, I waited a little while longer and washed my hair again to see if the elasticity of those pieces had bounced back, but they hadn’t. I had a head full of beautiful thick hair, and two straggly no life pieces hanging on the sides.
So, I cut it.
Here’s a visual, allowing you to see healthy hair verses damaged hair.
On the right is healthy hair that came out from detangling (I don’t wash my hair often, so that’s a normal amount of hair from detangling for me) and on the left are the damaged pieces that I cut out.
Yes, this was a good hair experience for me, moreover, it was an even more amazing example about life.
When you visually see that something is dead and providing no benefit, LET IT GO.
Sometimes, we want to keep things because it took us a long time to get to “that length” or to get to where we are in life, but detaching yourself from that lifeless thing, allows you to keep growing!
Don’t stunt your growth hanging on to non-beneficial and lifeless things. Detach and grow!
Since cutting those pieces, I’ve had a variety of protective styles and when that time comes to bring the fro back out (her name is Maggie) I’ll provide you with a new update!
Until then, continue to let go and grow.
Have you ever been around that kid that always asked “why” about things and made you, as the adult ponder on certain situations? I was that kid! Lol. I believe that was my way of trying to understand the world and certain things we do. That kid has now transformed into an adult that continues to research various traditions this world has and enjoys pushing the limit and often times going against the grain. I guess “The ABnormal Life” is truly a befitting name.
My most recent project was…wearing white shoes after Labor Day. The northern side of me still twitches even as I type this lol!
If you haven’t heard, white shoes after Labor Day is a no-no as far as old tradition goes.
There are so many explanations I’ve found as to why that tradition started, but what they all commonly discussed was not wearing white after Labor Day was one of the many ways and rules to mark the difference between old money and new.
So basically, the rich people with the old money made rules that ONLY they would know, and didn’t give others the time of day. This is just another way of striving to be superior to others.
“What it really comes down to is a blend of elitism and pragmatism based in an era that's long gone.” (James Chrisman – The Thrillist)
Here’s a few more color restrictions I’ve found from back in the day:
White was only for summer, black was only proper for mourning, and denim was only acceptable if you were mining gold.
I wanted to conduct my own mini project and see how people feel about this tradition now.
My Hypothesis: Younger generations won’t have a problem, but the seasoned generation will!
Watch these interviews:
My hypothesis was WRONG. I am happy to say that young AND seasoned generations had no limitations on whether white should be restricted after Labor Day. A lot of people didn’t even realize I had on white shoes until after the interview was done.
The one thing I want you to remember from this post is to do what makes you happy.
Don’t let the opinions and old traditions of this world limit you in any way. As always, truly remember to be uniquely, completely, and ABnormally YOU!
As some of you may know from my social media posts, I have had the pleasure of being a Sheabassador for almost two years.
Within those two years, I’ve graciously received a plethora of products ranging from hair, skin, and body products.
Every time I find a box at my door, it feels like Christmas and brings a big Kool-Aid smile to my face:)
I’m going to share with you my top 5 favorite Shea Moisture products that I use on a regular. Hopefully you’ll be introduced to something new and potentially a product that can benefit you. Let's get into it!
1) Hair Odor Neutralizing Mist:
Have you ever had in a protective style and it’s not time to take it out yet, but it smells like it LOL? Let’s be real, our head has sweat and oil glands which can cause a not so great smell at times. This spray is a great way to deodorize your protective styles. Its color safe, silicone and sulfate free. ($11.99)
2) Silicone Mask Applicator
If you love a good face mask like me, applying the mask can get a bit messy. This applicator was literally an answer to my prayers. I’d been on the hunt trying to find one in the stores, and Shea Moisture sent one shortly afterwards. It’s basically just a simple tool that allows you to apply your mask evenly and in a non-messy way. (Ulta $5.99)
3) Youth Infusing Mask
Speaking of mask applicators, let’s talk about a great mask. During my self-care Sundays, I like to apply a mask and I’ve fallen in love with this one. It tightens up (not in a painful way) and my skin feels refreshed after using it. ($15.99, but you can get the small package for $3.99)
4) 100% Pure Avocado Oil
I love Shea Moisture’s 100% pure oils. I’ve used this oil on my face and body. I love adding a little to my face lotion and it leaves my face feeling amazingly moisturized. ($9.99)
5) Frankincense and Myrrh Oil & Soap ( two products)
I am such a Frankincense & Myrrh fan ever since Shea Moisture has sent me these products.
I LOVE adding the F&M oil to my homemade body butter.
The soap is divine. It works on sensitive skin and leaves my skin delectable and smelling amazing.
Shea Moisture, thank you for creating Sheabassadors and allowing us to indulge in your delightful products. It’s been a great experience.