Positive thoughts and practices are the
weights that keep us sharp and toned.
I’ve tried for years to deflect the stereotype “angry black woman” from being associated with me.
I am a dark skinned woman with big thick hair and a dominant personality. Unfortunately, in this world, before I even open my mouth, people develop a pre-conceived notion about me.
I have no idea who coined this phrase, but I do know in the black community, we’ve altered various things about ourselves to not be “that angry black woman.”
We’ve done things like heightening the tone of our voice to sound more “pleasant” in others’ eyes, wearing our hair straighter to be seen as more professional, changing our names so we can make it to an in-person interview, and smiling way more than we probably would like to. And those are just scratching the surface.
I joined an Instagram live with Paola Mathe, founder of Fan Djanm and another young lady. They were talking about the stereotype “angry black woman.”
Listening to their beautiful exchange through conversation had me thinking.
With all that is going on in the world, our black lives brutally being taken away and numbers rising like a score at an Olympic basketball game, leaves me disgusted.
Disgusted, sad, scared, and rightfully so, VERY ANGRY.
I’m angry for reasons like Breonna Taylor’s killers, who burst into her apartment, shot her eight times,
and STILL haven’t been put six feet under…I mean arrested.
I am angry because I have had the hardest time going to sleep this past week because of what happened to her. That could’ve been me. I look forward and value my sleep time, but that hasn’t come so easily lately.
You know I could go on and name countless other incidents that have taken black lives that could have been PREVENTED, but I said that to say;
I AM AN ANGRY BLACK WOMAN.
What is happening is UNACCEPTABLE.
Please believe I will continue to do everything I can to save my people.
I am angry right now because justice needs to be served.
But please know, on a regular, black women should not automatically be seen as angry.
Yes, we have strong demeanors, because what we’ve been through is so deeply rooted, but we are not angry by nature. Just because our demanding presence and Maya Angelou-like voices may intimidate you doesn’t give you the right to call us angry. Learn how to accept it and adjust.
I will not dim my light to make those around me feel more comfortable. (work in progress.)
What I’m saying is, there will be no more conforming to what others think is right. Because we are dying no matter what. Educated or not, rich or in poverty, they are killing us.
I said that to say, BE UNIQUELY AND COMPLETELY your authentic self and the world around you will learn to adjust.
And if you can’t find a job because of your name, don’t worry, I’ll hire you soon. It’s coming:)
Thank you for reading and here are a few tips:
If you're black: Be your authentic self. It is beautiful and don’t ever let someone convince you otherwise.
If you’re white: Be mindful of what you say. Don’t be afraid of us. Yes, we are very powerful beings, and graciously, all we’re asking for is equal chances in life.
“Be the change you wish to see in this world.”
- Mohandas Gandhi
Check out this Instagram video: